It’s Up to Parents to Get the Kids to Vote


The real shame of things is that Rick Mercer and Justin Trudeau are just too damned old to influence young people to make a difference by voting. Ditto for George Stroumboulopoulous.

Even Craig Kielburger is getting a bit long in the tooth.

We have to figure out a way to get the kids away from their video consoles and Smartphones and drag them down to the polls. That’s where you come in parents.

If you have a child who is of voting age, one who is still living in your basement, turn off the electricity on voting day, or cut off their phones. If you have a voting age child who does not live with you, threaten to ban them from Thanksgiving dinner unless they agree to vote in this election.

If your child has half-a-brain, sit them down and explain why voting is important. Remind them that it is because of this government (Harper et al) that they are still working part-time at McDonald’s, and only then because the Harper government was forced to shut down the Foreign Workers program that paid people from other countries slave wages to take jobs away from Canadian workers.

If it helps, explain voting like you would a Role Playing Game (RPG). Here’s the premise. Your adult child wanders through a wasteland armed only with a valid SIN number and police record check. All the factories are closed because of globalization. All of the food is tainted because  the government has fired all the inspectors. Niqabs are being ripped off the faces of women who are trying to become citizens. All his friends are in jail because of trumped up marijuana possession charges. Everyone else is running around with unregistered long guns shooting at people and all your kid has is a SIN number and a valid police check.

He has no way to communicate anymore because he can’t pay his phone bill and his parent can’t pay it either because they have lost their good government jobs. The world is all smoggy and awful, the water is full of Zebra mussels and he is forced to wear a mask. All the scientists meanwhile are locked up in a building somewhere, their mouths taped over and muzzled.

Your adult child’s task is to save Canada. And the only way to do that is to vote. Save the scientists. Save the planet. Let the niqab wearing woman get her citizenship. Free his friends from Harper’s prison.

He has a decision to make. Will he carry on the same path, the road to ruin. Or will he finally embrace hope and change and take the road less travelled.

Which fork in the road will he take?

Whaddya think?

Might work. It’s worth a shot.


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