Stephen Harper’s Courthouse Jesters

You know how they say that New York City was the fifth girl in Sex and the City? Nearly every street scene was being stolen, in that long ago series, by the city that never sleeps.

It’s the same here in Ottawa. The Ottawa Courthouse has become a Fifth Wheel during the federal election. There are just as many political reporters camped out waiting for the likes of Bruce Carson, Nigel Wright, Duffy and others as there are on the campaign planes and buses.

That’s not to mention all the ink being spilled covering the antics at the Gatineau Courthouse where Patrick Brazeau has been making merry, tap dancing, and trolling.

The legal beagles are so terribly busy defending fraudsters, liars, cokeheads, pervs and pimps — all who have one thing, or should we say, one person in common. Stephen Harper! He’s become our Kevin Bacon, separated by six degrees from nearly everyone who is playing fast and loose with the law.

Even before the election, we were treated to days of court action with people like Dean Del Mastro, once a Harper right hand, who had to do the perp walk. Oh yeah, then there were the RoboGuys!

Average everyday criminals have to run the gauntlet of news cameras every day. How embarrassing that they have to be found out by their bosses and loved ones, who are watching the evening news, because they’ve had to jostle with Katie Simpson and Rosemary Barton to sneak in for their dose of justice. It just doesn’t seem fair.

It’s occurred to me that perhaps the Conservative Party of Canada should be sent a bill for clogging up the already backlogged court agenda. It’s taking forever to book a room for a run of the mill divorce or shoplifting charge because there are so many Tories and their hordes of Gucci-hoofed lawyers stinking up the place.

While we’re at it, maybe the Tories should be sent a bill for wasting all that time at the Supreme Court of Canada. At the very least, they should pay for being such a bunch of nuisance ninnies.

One thing is clear. If Stephen Harper does get re-elected, he’s going to need a full time handler to screen all his buddies. I hear Ray Donovan is available.


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