Prince Charming’s duller brother

There has been much talk since the Ontario election about how Magoo could possibly have won, given the fact he is highly unpopular.

It’s true. When asked who they would like to have a beer with — Beetlejuice, Hogwart or Magoo — nearly every one chose somebody other than Magoo.

Myself, I think I’d rather take the cure than have a beer with Magoo.

What would we talk about? Magoo never strays from the script.

“So, Dalton, how’s the weather out there today?”

“I’ve heard what Ontarians are saying. They are saying they want leadership, they want accountability, they want us to listen to them.”

“Dalton, did you listen? I asked how the weather is.”

“The economic forecast looks bright, better than any place in the whole darned world.”

That is exactly why I don’t want to have a beer with him.

Now, Tiny Tories, before you raise your hand, let me remind you that Stephen Harper is even less likeable than Magoo.

Nobody likes him except Ron Wood and Tom Flanagan. Even Laureen prefers the company of her bodyguard.

Who said that?

Nobody, but nobody likes Stephen Harper as a person, but a lot of people voted for him. Just like Magoo.

That’s because Canadians are smart.

They’re not like Americans.

That’s right, I said it.

Americans loved them some Barack Obama and look at the mess they’re in.

Americans hated George Bush but it must be said that even George Bush was a better president than Oprah’s fancy man.

In Canada, we like a steady hand.

We don’t care for a guy that’s all tricked out like Prince Charming.

Canadians are suspicious of Prince Charming.

They want Prince Charming’s dull, smarter brother.

The guy who could do your income tax.

The guy who goes to church on Sunday, the guy who runs for church deacon. We don’t want the guy who’s out on the ski slopes.

Well, that’s not necessarily true; we did elect Jean Chretien.

In a moment of weakness.

Then we forgot all about it.

Now I’m talking about Canadians who actually vote.

I’m not talking about you, Nick, who’s downstairs playing World of Warcraft. Or you Shyla, who slept through the election.

Maybe if we ran Prince Charming, the Meh Generation would get their asses out to vote.

But then this wouldn’t be Canada.

This would be the United States of America.

Where people voted for Jon Stewart as their most trusted newscaster.

And he’s a comedian.


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