Ontario debates

So, I tuned into the Biggest Loser tonight and there was a guy, really, who gained two pounds.

Who could gain two pounds when Sexually Ambiguous Bob, with the new hair plugs, is riding  them on the treadmill?

Anyway,  I thought better of it, did my civic duty and tuned into The Ontario Election Debate during the commercials.

The first thing out of McGoo’s mouth was that he was promising that people would get home visits from doctors and nurses.

I, myself, cannot get an appointment with the Worst Family Doctor in Ontario, nor can I get him to look into my vagina.

So I turned it off.

I was pissed.

I turned back again, during the commercial break, just after the contestants played a game of get the ball into the hole in the middle of a pool on The Biggest Loser and I saw Andrea Horwath with enough petroleum product in her hair to grease every wheel in the province.

I could not watch.

I could not.

Truth be told, God told me to vote for Andrea — I swear it wasn’t the extra-terrestrial Jackie Boy whispering in my ear — just because she was a single mom.

I told Scott I was voting for her. Didn’t know her platform. Didn’t care.

But then I thought, crap, if I vote for Andrea, the bar wench, it will be a vote for Tim Who Dat? as I live in the Preem’s riding and nobody here is voting for the NDP.

So Daltie gets my vote.


I cannot let a Conservative win, no way, no how.

I’d rather vote for a hundred pounds of slime to be surgically injected into my butt hole.

This isn’t news, but this, too is reality.

I hate this election.


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