I’ve got news for the “Harper government”, uh, Health Canada which just realized their brand new spanky ads for cigarette packages.

The ads show a real woman dying of lung cancer.

They won’t work.

Why not?

I’ve tried this very tactic on my kids. When I found out Nick was smoking as a young teenager. I plastered every computer monitor with screen savers of horrible images of death and disfigurement due to smoking.

He just laughed at me.

I’m not saying don’t do it. Heck, do anything you can to prevent kids from taking up smoking. I don’t want to see one of my kids die as many of my friends have, from cancers related to smoking. I don’t want them to walk around attached to oxygen tanks.  I hope they don’t leave their own kids motherless or fatherless because of this terrible habit.

Unfortunately, not much I can do about it.

It might have helped if the damned cigarettes weren’t so easy to get. My kids never had trouble buying them. There was always a smoker somewhere who would feel sorry for the poor kids and buy them a pack. And, of course, in spite of the ads we see in convenience stores, a lot of them still sell to minors.

So they all started. They all tried to quit, but none of them could.

Nick wanted to quit, but because he has no thyroid, he can’t take a patch or any of the smoking cessation products. Doing so landed him in the hospital. So he kept on doing it.

Stef quit, then started again after he began work as a waiter. Everybody in that business smokes.

Marissa and Jeff both quit, then started again. I don’t know why.

I’ve given up talking to them about.

Even worse, Shyla smokes and she’s pregnant. The doctor doesn’t seem to care that much and I have no say in the matter.

I watched my own mother die from cigarettes. She didn’t have lung cancer, she didn’t have COPD. The smoking dilated her blood vessels and made it difficult for her to fight an infection that killed her. She was 66 and I miss her.

I also miss Les McLaughlin, Tim Ralfe, my uncle Vern.

I miss Al Rogers, a press club pal, who threw himself out of a window after smoking took away his tongue and most of his throat.

Scott misses his father Warner, who died of lung cancer. Warner was only 59.

Heart disease killed most of my family, who all smoked.

I’ve never had the pleasure of attending a family funeral on my mother’s side for anyone over 70. They all died.

And my kids will do.

Not much I can do about.

Hope I’m not alive to see it.

I’m damned sure those cigarette packages won’t do a thing to get my kids — or yours — to quit smoking.

But thanks for trying.