When it happened, the pain was excruciating, like someone had ripped my leg off sideways at 3 in the morning.
Please, no flowers, and no I didn’t get this injury stepping out of a bar.
I was minding my own business — sleeping — when something happened to cause Hannah and Ming to fall off the bed and start a dog fight. Which, in turn, led to Scott screaming at a blood curdling pitch and me leaping to Ming’s rescue, right in the middle of it.
I could have not got involved, but when you’re asleep, your instincts take over. Your job is to prevent major arterial injury to the smallest hound.
Sometimes, the fights can take a turn for the worse, and usually it’s the human referee who gets the worst of it. I have been bruised and battered by dog fights and nearly had my pinky ripped off once.
Last night, it was a fight short in duration.
Fortunately, the dogs are fine. I managed to get between them before Hannah ripped Ming’s ear off.
But I admit, Scott and I are worse for wear this morning.
It’s a good thing we both have good hearts.
Sleeping with dogs can be hazardous to your health.
Every night, it’s easy to inhale a pound of dog fur, particularly when Ming decides to sleep on the pillow. Pillow surfing is discouraged, though, as I’ve gotten pink eye once or twice.
It’s also not uncommon to wake up with a back or leg ache after being pinned on all sides. Today, Scott was complaining about his leg being numb.
Also, Hannah has a habit of barking at the paper guy who always opens the front door to leave the Citizen at 4 a.m. Her big woof — that’s a real heart-stopper.
But the nocturnal dog fight, that was a new one for me. I’m not sure how it happened.
I feel as though I’ve gone nine rounds with Mickey Rourke.
Dog haters would say the solution is to ban the hounds from the bed. Dog lovers know better.
There’s nothing nicer than a pug snuggled into the back of your legs on a wintry night. Or the feel of a clandestine slurp to the ear.
It’s worth enduring the big woof or the tumble off the bed.
What we do for love.