The case of the wandering Weiner

I was married twice before I met Scott, and both men were sexual risk-takers.

My two ex-husbands, Mr. Big and Mr. Small, had much in common with Anthony Weiner, the Twitterbug who flashed women with his grey bulge.  My husbands weren’t flashers, they were  cheaters but they took every opportunity to swing their manhood in the general direction of the women folk. They were also work-a-holics with powerful jobs in their chosen fields — jobs that could have been compromised, but luckily for them, weren’t.

In my first husband, Mr. Small’s case, he bedded many of his attractive underlings and kept all of them as friends. There seemed like hundreds of them. He told me all about them before we were married, but I naively thought he would change his worrying ways. Nuh-uh. He was back in the swing of things just months after we got married; we eventually broke up after he engaged in a six-year affair with another underling.

I couldn’t understand what the attraction was. This woman even had the audacity to run to the big boss and charge my husband with sexual harrassment. Guess what? Mr. Small married her!

Mr. Big was married before I met him and cheated on his wife many times. He even confided to me that he had a love child somewhere after an affair with a hairdresser who worked for his mother. I believe Mr. Big only cheated on me with one woman, the White Witch of Bermuda, to whom he is now married.

I don’t think he cheats on her. She controls the money.

Most powerful men, Masters of the Universe, cheat or act out in sexually inappropriate ways.

Some, like the Big Weiner, are happily married and don’t see flashing women on the Internet as cheating. Others pat bums — like John Turner. Still others like to wear silk stockings and stroke themselves while placing calls to sex workers.

Pretty often, they feel the need to escalate their behavior, as evidenced by Mr. Small who was caught by a coworker having sex with one of his prey on the marble floors in Centre Block.  I mean how romantic is that?

Mr. Big took regular trips on the company dime to visit the White Witch who was still living and smoking in Bermuda.  On one occasion, I tracked him down on a supposed work trip to Washington. His secretary reluctantly gave me the name of  a bed and breakfast in Virginia where he and his flame were having a mini-break, signng in as Mr. and Mrs. Big.

The Big Weiner didn’t cheat, it’s true, but his display of totally gross and disgusting behavior is no different than the antics of Mr. Big and Mr. Small. Same game, different equipment.

All three were attracted to the danger, the thrill.

Dr. Frank Farley of Temple University describes this kind of behavior as “risk taking”, T personality negative, which is behavior that puts a person in intential peril. T positives are the heroes of our world — they are extreme athletes, firefighters or cops, maybe even sleuths who prowl the jungle in search of new serums.

T negatives are people like the Big Weiner and my two ex-husbands. To the world, they are big and powerful, to themselves they are pond scum drawn to self-destructive behavior.

As a student, and victim, of this kind of behavior, I believe a lot of Masters of Universe might be both T positive and negative. On the one hand, they’re out to save the world, on the other hand they have need to debase themselves in some way.

Good and bad dwelling in the same body, all attached to a wandering weiner.

In any event, you can call it what you want.

Doesn’t matter how powerful the Great Oz is, he’s just a creepy little deviant standing behind a curtain.


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