Our George Bush years

Now that Michael Ignatieff has been given his ticket to ride back to Harvard, all serious minded people must turn their attention to leadership.

It is time to consider all comers, to determine who could deliver a new vision for the future.

Yes, my friends, it’s time to turn our attention to the burning question of the day: who will replace Michael Scott?

Some people will say that Michael Scott is irreplaceable, but they said that about John Ritter and his show went on for two more seasons. They said it about Shelley Long and I think Cheers was much better with Kirstie Alley. The key to the very survival of The Office is to do something very different.

People will be expecting one of the usual suspects to take over from Steve Carell, but I think it’s time to change things up.

Forget Ricky Gervais, Will Ferrell or Will Arnett.

It’s time to bring in the big guns.

Yes, my friends, it’s time for a real hero.

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

 Like he has something better to do.

He will never be President. He can’t find his birth certificate.

Besides, Maria wants him out of the House.

He’s sweet, he’s tough, and he’s a damned fine specimen of a human being — even if he is part cyborg, like Craig Oliver.

Did you see Craig last night? His eyes had this weird, shiny blue light.

Clearly the years are taking a toll. Craig predicted a minority NDP government.

And the bobbleheads. Didn’t you love the bobbleheads on CTV? There they were, that sorry lot who wanted to run the country, with their heads bobbing and shaking like dollar store bobbledogs in a car’s back window. How did they get them to do that?

I want one.

I want an Iggy and a Gilles.

Collectors items.

Anyway, it will be a great Parliament. We’ll have Bob Rae and Jack Layton. And Liz May.

The left wing dream team.

And the benches will be filled with whack jobs, MPs from Quebec who don’t speak French. At least one New Democrat with a gambling problem.

And no Ruby Dhalla.

Or Helena Guergis.

Poor Helena Guergis.

I can’t wait for the first Question Period.

Harper has John Baird, his pit bull and Layton has his Pat Martin, his shih tsu. I’d take the shih tsu in a fight any day.

We know what pit bulls can do.

But shih tsus bite noses off.

Don’t despair, little ones.

These are our George Bush years. The messiah will surely cometh.

One day.


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