Pin heads


A hat is never a good idea. – Nora Ephron.

It is difficult to take British women seriously, especially when they’re wearing those ridiculous hats.

The practice may have spawned the term “pinhead.”

Hats are meant to keep off the precipitation, not to pin to the upside of the head with tatters of ribbon and feathers.

Think of others, please.

Think of the allergies.

And the aesthetics.

The only woman in Britain who knows how to wear a hat is Queen Elizabeth, and that’s after years of practice. She lilts conservative, with broad brims that cover her lovely transparent skin from the rain and the wind. At most, she rocks hats in an amazing array of colors.

But you never see her paste a peacock on her noggin.

I used to love hats, mostly wide-brimmers which I wore to play golf, or baseball caps.

I once had a beautiful black hat with a veil that I wore to funerals in the 80s, mostly in Quebec. I wore my hat to the funeral of Ma Tante Mary Paule; it complemented my stunning silk outfit.

I killed.

 As I was walking behind the casket, the priest whispered in my left ear.

“Nice outfit.”

But that was the 80s and I also had a perm.

I would never wear a hat now.

The only people in Canada who should wear hats are farmers and people with skin cancer.

And those with greasy hair.

Canadian women look silly in hats.

Let’s hope they don’t make a comeback.

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