SUN TV: Tory talent time


I decided to give Sun News a boo this morning, after hearing that my former Ottawa Journal colleague Mike Strobel was going to be on.

The Sunshine Boy is on a segment they call The Bald Truth which aptly reflects Mike’s carefully manicured cue ball. It’s strange to see somebody you haven’t seen for thirty years.

When Mike was at the Journal, he had enough hair to make weaves for all of the Jersey Shore girls. Not any longer. His pate is as smooth as a baby’s bottom.

And buff! My goodness, back in the Journal days, Mike was a beanpole. Now he looks like Jack LaLane, may he rest in peace.

Looking good, my man.

Truth be told, I changed the channel from Canada I.A.M because they had two tired segments in a row with professor-types talking about the election. I’m so sick of these glad handing academics spitting through double enders. I guess it’s easy enough to get them, as school’s nearly over and there is a gaggle of profs looking for a little payola to keep them going over the summer.

I was also trying to escape all the Royal Wedding crap. It’s friggin’ everywhere. I can’t wait for Willy and Kate to get in the landau and be off in their tankinis in the Caribbean somewhere. CTV seems to have cornered the market on all things Royal. Every ten minutes there’s a segment on some obscure Royal subject. They’ve interviewed the caterers and the butler, anybody who has anything to say on the subject.  Today, there was a seg with Bev interviewing the lady who designed Princess Diana’s wedding dress (who cares?).

Next they’ll be interviewing the guy who picks up the horseshit behind the Royal carriage.

“What exactly do you feed the beasts to ensure such a sweet smelling pile?”

Now flush with all that Bell Media money, CTV is going all out sending everybody over the pond for what seems like months. Jeannie Becker’s going. So is Graham Richardson. They’ve even hired Tracey Ullman. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Rod Black describing the choreography of the first dance.

It’ll be the friggin’ Olympics all over again.

Sheesh. 

 I changed the channel to Sun and what was the first thing I saw?

A SEGMENT ON THE ROYAL WEDDING.

Aren’t these guys supposed to be right-wing contrarians?

Anyway, I sat through that waiting for Strobe and he was good.

Talkin’ about the babes, as always.

Then I sat through the weather. Check.

The whole morning show was lively, friendly and happy — as all morning television is.

I was brightening, thinking that I could actually get behind Sun TV (I found Dr. Ho has orthotics for 20 bucks!)

And then, right after 9 a.m., the blorg began.

The program was hosted by Pat Boring, the third string business guy from the Business News Network — which nobody watches. He was joined by an English dude who had just broke a story that Michael Ignatieff was advising the U.S. government on Iraq back in 2003 (when George Bush was prez).

What does that mean? It means Iggy was taking up valuable space that could have been occupied by a Tory. Like David Frum if he’d kept his yap shut.

So, they are alleging, Iggy started the Iraq war.

Oh yeah, and they started talking about how the election was called over the budget.

Guess they were too busy crayoning their cue cards to read the papers a few weeks back.

It is Tory glory all the way up the channel at 66. Think they should have added another six, as my friend Paul Park observed.

After watching for a while, I thought it best to take a shower.

Is this the new Tory in and out scheme? Will Pierre Peladeau get a political tax credit?

Anyway, it’s not bad; it’s not great.

I might watch the morning show instead of Canada I.A.M.

Switch to Regis after nine.

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