Jillian leaving Biggest Loser

I hear that Jillian Michaels is leaving The Biggest Loser after this season.

That explains a  lot.

Like BL’s lame attempt at bringing in two star trainers, a lovely boxer named Cara and a hunky martial artist named Bret. It all seemed to dilute the show, and make it more difficult for viewers to become engaged in the growth of the various contestants.

And the show’s long, drawn-out “reveal” of who the new trainers were, was just silly.

Once Cara and Bret were exposed, we all said “Cara Who?” “Bret Who Cares?”

The BL producers must have realized that they had a massive, unloveable dog in the fight, because they punted poor Bret just two weeks ago after he ran out of contestants. That left us with only Cara to ogle in her various cat suits, hair flying, Bronx-accent chewing up the scenery.

She cried. She cried a lot.

But as Tom Hanks might say, “there’s no crying in cross-training”, and I predict the BL will have to find another bitch like Jill to ride the backs of porkers.

Cara just didn’t cut it.

Back to Jill.

I also heard that Jill is planning to adopt a baby.

Now that’s a  howler.

How would you like to be Jill’s kid?

She’ll have the kid pulling the bassinet on straps before she can even crawl.

I mean, thank God, the Jill won’t be breast-feeding.

“Latch on, you little mo’ fo’; what are ya, weak?

With Jill gone, Bob’s going to be the big personality in the room, and his flamboyantly ambiguous self is just nasty.

And you could replace Allison with a cardboard cut out and not notice the dif.

I despair for Biggest Loser fans.

Jill will be missed.

Now hand me that bar bell, missy, I’m about to do my crunches.


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