Fresh semen: Come and get it


Dude, dudette.

Put down the mouse.

I don’t care how much you want a baby. Don’t do it.

Buying “fresh” semen online could be hazardous to your health, according to Health Canada.

Who exactly is doing this? Look, I know people buy all sorts of things online — pharmaceuticals, Botulism, blow up dolls – but semen?

The mere idea makes me want to boot.

“Donations procured through unreliable means like ordering off the Internet may not be safe due to the possibility they have not been properly screened and tested,” the agency said.

Untested semen could pass on HIV/AIDS, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia and Hepatitis B and C to mothers and unborn children, it warned.

Well, yeah!

You can just imagine where these purveyors of male goo are getting it. Hobos. Drug addicts. Masters students at York University.

What’s your kid going to look like? Freddy the Freeloader? A moose?

There are lots of sources of “fresh semen”. Look around. Offer the kid cutting your lawn a few bucks and a Penthouse and zing! There you go.

Attend a swinger’s party and BYOB.

To my mind, anybody who buys online semen deserves what they get. A kid with two heads. A daughter with eyes on the sides of her head. A boy with no penis.

But general society must be protected. Health care dollars must be saved.

So. Just Don’t Do It.

This has been a public service announcement from a caring local blogger.

Thank you.

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