Ottawa: Live in the middle
It’s like the wild west out there, danger at every turn.
You look up in the sky and you swear you see a little funnel cloud. Instead of texting in your car, you might be arrested for shooting video to send to CTV Ottawa as the dark and ominous clouds twist around the sky like the goo in a cotton candy machine.
Don’t even try playing tennis at the Rideau Tennis Club, which always seems to be a magnet for Biblical storms. This would be a horrible year to join that club, given its soggy clay courts which take hours to dry after even a little drizzle of a storm. When I was a member, I loved watching the clouds roll in and the courts get soggy as I sat drinking beer under the massive awning. I don’t go there anymore because I no longer drink beer or play tennis, but it was the very best place to watch a storm play out.
Down the pike in Orleans, across the mighty Ottawa, and down the way to Aylmer, it’s like that corridor is on God’s shit list.
Massive floods are, I’m sure, making folks rethink buying that cheap condo or five bedroom. The best buy for those folks is a Shop-Vac.
Scott once told me that the people who built this burg did so based on weather patterns. There were just certain places NOT to build. I believe Gatineau is one of those places, along with Orleans and Aylmer. Now that the weather has becomes as perilous to humans as E Coli, it would make good sense to check those records before buying a house.
We live in the city core, so we never really get the worst of the storms. Tornados like to live in areas where they can get up a little steam and we thankfully are buffered by the Parliament Buildings and skycrapers to the west and the suburbs to the east and south. Storms like the river, and we’re far enough away from that to feel any commotion.
So Scott and I feel somewhat glib sitting outside having our evening cocktail under umbrellas feeling the mist on our shoulders. We happily watch the storms as they pass all around us, looking for victims to the west, north and south.
I always believe you can never live too close to an airport, a train station and a hospital.
And if you’re afraid of the weather, always live in the middle.