National unity: Snakes on a plane


All this talk about Jack Layton playing tummysticks with Quebeckers is making me a tad nervous.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for Jackie Boy trumping Gilles Duceppe and kicking the asses of the separatists once and for all.

For Duceppe’s part, he has no worries. He’s looking at retirement with a gold-plated federal pension. That should pay for some lovely new togs.

What’s worrying me is that Jackie Boy has brought up the “C” word.

That’s right, ladies and germs. We can dream wistful dreams of Charlottetown and Meech as Jackie Boy discusses an attempt to bring Quebec into the Constitution once and for all.

He says he wants to “create those winning conditions” that would allow the babysteps necessary to bring Quebec into the big yellow tent.

I’m no constitional expert, Jack, but my advice is leave this bugger alone. Let Quebeckers into your tent and you’re bound to get your wienie handed back to you with poutine all over it.

We will never have a Constitution with Quebec in it. That’s because Quebec wants to have its Mille-Feuille and it eat it, too. Quebec already has its own pension plan, social security, child care and health care systems. Not to mention all that juicy federal transfer money for which it doesn’t have to account.

Most things that apply to TROC don’t apply in Quebec. Read every contest, and you’ll see “except for Quebec”.

Why on Earth would Quebec opt in?

Jack’s a swell dude but there have been smarter men than him who have tackled the national unity issue and lost big.

Pierre couldn’t do it. Mulroo made it worse.

What makes Jack think that he will be able to strong arm the provinces into a new deal?

Jack, please.

Just focus on getting a few more seats and forget the unity issue.

Unless you’re not afraid of snakes on your plane.

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