UN is not that into Tories
Prime Minister Harpseal needs some dating advice. Obviously, the rest of the world isn’t that into him.
There’s word today the feds spent a whopping $1 million flouncing around the world in an attempt to get a seat on the UN Security Council. As we all know, they failed miserably. For the first time in 50 years, the world turned its back on Canada.
We’re now the smelly kids.
I mean, they like Portugal better. Portugal.
Everybody hates us — even on television. I recently watched an episode of Shameless, in which William Macy’s rubbie drunk character rails against Canada.
“I hate Canada,” he says, after being thrown into a Toronto jail cell. “You couldn’t even manage to have snow for the Winter Olympics!”
The Arabs, they really hate us. Won’t even let us in their airspace in the United Emerates.
People in the rest of the world used to love Canada. They couldn’t get enough of Canada.
That’s when the Liberals were in power, when we weren’t an international laughing stock. People at home might have hated the Liberals, but the Liberals were loved abroad.
They gave good international meeting. They knew how to break bread; they knew how not to piss people off.
Harpseal is another story. He looks like hell in international costumes. He misses the photo ops.
Now he’s getting even.
Since he couldn’t impress the suits, Harpseal is now going girly, hoping that moms and girls in the developing world will like him better. What he doesn’t understand is that the people who are running the rest of the world are misogynstic arseholes who don’t care about women and female children. They rape the women and turn the children into soldiers.
It’s a cultural thing.
The misogynistic suits probably snickered when Harpseal took the new gig — he took it, they will say, because nobody else wanted it.
I hope for the sake of the women and children of the world, that Harpseal can succeed. Unfortunately, his social programs in this country blow.
Can you name anything Harpseal has done for women in this country? Me neither.
Back to the UN.
If we really cared about being on the UN Security Council, as Canadians, we would elect Iggy. People in other countries love Iggy. And that makes the Tory blood boil. It makes them want to write his name on the washroom wall like some spurned geek who lost his best girl to the handsome dude.
“He didn’t come back for you!”
Fact is, most Canadians probably don’t care about the Security Council. Nobody is really sure what the UN does anyway.
So let’s take away the keys to the national jet, shall we? Can’t buy love, Harpseal.