Kicking your 2010 ass out the door
It’s been a crap year.
There, I said it.
As always, I am grateful for many things, mostly, the fact that everyone in my immediate family is healthy. You have to say that to God, you have to thank him/her for something when you’re praying. I always thank God for keeping my family safe, the kids, Scott, the dogs, myself, because you never know.
Another little tip about praying — be specific. As David Steinberg once said when God burned Moses’ feet as he approached the burning bush. “Ah, ha, third one today!” God, Steinberg observed, has a mystical sense of humor that is only his.
I have prayed and prayed this year for insight into why our lives have been so crappy, why Scott can’t get work as a cameraman and has to sell cars, why Nick who has approaching genius can’t get work beyond serving Timbits, why I can’t make more than $6,000 a year, and so on. It’s mostly about money — making sure we have some to pay the bills and buy a coffee once in a while — but it’s also about human dignity, and we ain’t had much of that staple in the cupboards in 2010.
We closed our family business in 2010, just couldn’t get enough work. Our biggest client bailed on us, and it looks like our very last client might do the same by year end. This makes me sad. We have a whole closet full of video equipment which sits on the sidelines like the girl who is just waiting to be asked to dance. We have a Betacam SP, a digital camera, bags full of lights, sound equipment, an edit suite that sits idle but for making the odd amusing Funny or Die video.
Only this old computer seems to get work, and then, only once in a while. It’s now used for blogging, which I have been doing now for nearly a year, with a fan base which ranges from 25 to 300 a day depending on whether I’m writing about politics or not. (The worst numbers are reserved for Ottawa politics.) So the good news is I’ve started to blog, and that has helped me heal this broken heart, soothe this aching head, and it’s saved me nigh onto $5,000 in psychotherapy expenses. I don’t write for you, I write for me, so if you don’t like what I write, I don’t actually care. I can’t get fired from this job, but I can get quoted, as I have been in the Toronto Star about my opinion of the new Governor-General. I also get tracked by companies whose names I mention which have included GoodLife Fitness and some public relations dude who works for artificial sweetener companies, and political operatives from the Premier’s office and Jim Watson’s campaign office. All write slatheringly loving emails saying that I don’t know what I’m talking about.
I read them — I read all my fan mail — then I press the delete button. Because I can.
The crappy year was topped off by the toxic oil spill which I’m sure you don’t want me to get into again. Suffice to say that the oil spill put a major dent into our already sorry bank account and we are still recovering. Christmas was saved only by a new client of mine which provides aid to third world countries — sounds about right.
Anyway, here’s hoping that 2011 is better in any way. Whatsoever.
And being specific, may I say that employment would be nice.
Infamy might be better. Don’t worry, I’m not going to knock off any banks, or start a home invasion business. I’m starting a new blog in 2011, called The Club. I got the idea watching an old movie about Jacqueline Susann. I wanted to call it You’ll Never Eat Lunch in this Town Again, but that title was taken.
It’s what I’d like to call a blog novella, a fictional and soap operatic eye-view of my time spent in and around the Hill and the Press Club. I’m sure it will catch the occasional eye, as people shudder to remember that I was in attendance at some pretty wild shindigs over the years, and I’m prepared to dish.
For what is funnier, after all, than art imitating real life. And who knows better than me?
As they say, I not only know where the bodies are buried I know what they’re wearing.
Stay tuned, and feel free to feed me any dishes you would like washed in public.
As for now, I’m signing off. Have a great Boxing Day. I hear there are a number of main events on HBO today.